Coffee Cup musings from a modern Hippy

Yay I passed!

2009-09-14T01:27:00.002Z

Okay so after spending my summer revising not relaxing I got the good news the other day. I've passed second year and will be going on to do my third and final year at Swansea. Scary times! I can't believe that this time next year I will have graduated. I will be a graduate. I'm aiming for a first class but if I come away with a 2:1 I'll be just as happy.
This is the year that really counts. The year I have to knuckle down and do some damned hard graft. I apologise unreservedly in advance if I turn into a stressed out snarling wreck in the process. It really isn't personal.
Exciting times indeed. I'm really going to miss Swansea when I leave I think. Its a nice little city with a good vibe to it.

Thematic Photographic - Elemental

2009-07-24T00:58:00.003Z

Okay so after having watched Dennis doing this for a while I thought I'd give it a go :D.
Seems to be each wednesday a new theme is announced at and you then post in a comment a link to an old or new picture that you feel represents that theme.

This week's theme is Elemental. For me possibly the most fascinating element of the traditional earth-wind-fire-water variety is fire. I spin fire as part of my uni's circus skills society, the Visual Arts Soc. I therefore felt that this theme would be best represented by a photo I took of one of my friends spinning fire down on Swansea Bay. The image of the flames reminded me of celtic knotwork hence the photograph's title.

Download Festival 2009 - T-minus 2 days and counting

2009-06-08T20:03:00.006Z

First ever festival and to say I was excited would be understating it. I'm nervous and a little scared but so excited. It's kinda exhilerating. Still got a couple of things I need to get, such as alcohol and by the looks of the weatherforcast an umbrella. 60% chance of rain! Booo!

Can't wait.

The redundancy of tipp-ex?

2009-05-19T20:19:00.003Z

Has tipp-ex become redundant?
Do you think the rise of computers and word-processing has wiped out the need for this stuff?

I found today that of the two bottles of correction fluid that I own, one of them ad completly dried up despite having been used almost never. I hardly ever use the stuff anymore, I don't handwrite much anymore except for lecture notes in class which are usually written so quickly that simply crossing out works better. I invariably type up my notes later.
It is only during revision times that I ever seem to use this stuff, when I'm trying to make my revision notes as clear as possible.

So what about you? When was the last time you used correction fluid? Do you even own any at the moment?

On the mend

2009-05-11T14:03:00.001Z

I'm beginning to get better after a few fairly horrid days of dealing with this Chicken Pox. I have more energy and I'm able to eat again. Some of the spots have gone as well though I still have a ridiculously sore throat. Still it could be worse, it could have been swine flu.

Chicken Pox

2009-05-09T14:05:00.000Z

Bah Humbug!
I hate Chicken Pox.
It is evil, evil, evil.
I have no energy, am so itchy its unreal and the healing spots are painful. I have spots in places I didn't know existed. It sucks so much!

Darn you Microsoft!

2009-05-05T15:06:00.003Z

Okay objection!
I am outraged that I can't update my legitamate copy of Microsoft Word 2007 from a legitamate copy of Windows XP without loading up Internet Explorer specifically to do so.
I use Firefox as my default browser but Microsoft won't let you update from Firefox! You MUST use IE to access this site.
I don't see why its any of their dammned business whether or not I use firefox or not. It isn't even as if they get more money from me using IE, the programme is free!
Grrr, pfft, grrr!
*grumps*

Dyscalculia and me

2009-04-30T12:16:00.002Z

And so finally, I have the answer to the years of hell in maths class.
On April 2nd 2009 I was offially diagnosed with a learning disability called Dyscalculia.
I can't tell you how much of a relief it has been to finally know I'm not just stupid. I perform well in most everything else but maths always eluded me.
The educational psychologist who came into uni and conducted the assesment concluded that in terms of maths ability I am in the bottom 2% of my age group and in terms of linguistic/literacy ability I am in the top 2%. Such a massive difference points to a specfic processing problem, in this case Dyscalculia.

(The following has been taken from http://www.dyscalculiaforum.com)

The Basic Facts
Dyscalculia is a specific learning disability in mathematics. Dyscalculia is a word you use to describe when people have significant problems with numbers - but still have a normal or above normal IQ.
It seems that no dyscalculic has problems with math alone, but also struggle with problems being able to learn to tell time, left/right orientation, rules in games and much more.

Symptoms
Normal or accelerated language acquisition: verbal, reading, writing. Poetic ability. Good visual memory for the printed word. Good in the areas of science (until a level requiring higher math skills is reached), geometry (figures with logic not formulas), and creative arts.

Mistaken recollection of names. Poor name/face retrieval. Substitute names beginning with same letter.

Difficulty with the abstract concepts of time and direction. Inability to recall schedules, and sequences of past or future events. Unable to keep track of time. May be chronically late.

Inconsistent results in addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Poor mental math ability. Poor with money and credit. Cannot do financial planning or budgeting. Checkbooks not balanced. Short term, not long term financial thinking. Fails to see big financial picture. May have fear of money and cash transactions. May be unable to mentally figure change due back, the amounts to pay for tips, taxes, etc.

When writing, reading and recalling numbers, these common mistakes are made: number additions, substitutions, transpositions, omissions, and reversals.

Inability to grasp and remember math concepts, rules, formulas, sequence (order of operations), and basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division facts. Poor long term memory (retention & retrieval) of concept mastery- may be able to perform math operations one day, but draw a blank the next! May be able to do book work but fails all tests and quizzes.

May be unable to comprehend or "picture" mechanical processes. Lack "big picture/ whole picture" thinking. Poor ability to "visualize or picture" the location of the numbers on the face of a clock, the geographical locations of states, countries, oceans, streets, etc.

Poor memory for the "layout" of things. Gets lost or disoriented easily. May have a poor sense of direction, loose things often, and seem absent minded. (Remember the absent minded professor?)

May have difficulty grasping concepts of formal music education. Difficulty sight-reading music, learning fingering to play an instrument, etc.

May have poor athletic coordination, difficulty keeping up with rapidly changing physical directions like in aerobic, dance, and exercise classes. Difficulty remembering dance step sequences, rules for playing sports.

Difficulty keeping score during games, or difficulty remembering how to keep score in games, like bowling, etc. Often looses track of whose turn it is during games, like cards and board games. Limited strategic planning ability for games, like chess.

Is Dyscalculia Real?
Dyscalculics say it is. Teachers say it is. WHO and DSM say it is.

How Common Is Dyscalculia?
According to UK studies done by Gross-Tsur, Manor and Shalev in 1996, 6.5% are dyscalculic. According to studies done by Lewis, Hitch and Walker in 1994, 1.3% are dyscalculic while 2.3% are dyscalculic AND dyslexic - that means that according to this study 3.6% of the World's population are dyscalculic.

That gives a total of between 3.6 and 6.5% of the World's population. And again: That means, according to these two studies, that between 216.000.000 (two hundred and sixteen million) and 390.000.000 (three hundred and ninety million) people are dyscalculic - if we say that there are 600.000.000.000 (six billion) people in the world. No international study has been done on how common it is.

What Is The Male/Female Prevalence?
Although dyslexia seems to have a take on the male population (30% female versus 70% male), when it comes to dyscalculia studies show that the representation is equal - 50% female, 50% male.

Are There Types Of Dyscalculia?
Yes. Just like dyslexia, there are many versions of dyscalculia. Researchers have yet to come to a final decision, and they are not working together, which means that at least over 50 types have been given a name. We have guts here at the forum, so we have decided to stick with 4 types that make sense according to the forum users. These names are from a study done by Geary in 2004. You can read about the 4 types in the forums - there are subforums for each type, where we try to figure out all we can about the types.

Semantic retrieval dyscalculia
Procedural dyscalculia
Visuospatial dyscalculia
Number fact dyscalculia

Dys...Cal...Culia?
To pronounce it you say "dis-cal-cew-lee-ah". When a person has dyscalculia, you say that they are "dyscalculic" - "dis-cal-cew-leek".

The word dyscalculia comes from Greek and Latin and means "counting badly". The word "dys" comes from Greek and means "badly". "Calculie" comes from the Latin "calculare", which means "to count". The word "calculare" again comes from "calculus", which means "pebble" or one of the counters on an abacus. No one seems to know when the word "dyscalculia" to life - the earliest we have come across is this advertisement in The New York Times from May 1968. We do however know that researchers have used other words for what they found to be some sort of disability in maths (which they already found in the 1800s); arithmetic disability, arithmetic deficit, mathematical disability and so on. The media has been using words like digit dyslexia, number blindness and the obvious maths dyslexia.

Lots of variations of the word exist - Dyscalculi, discalculi, discalculia and so on. This seems to be spelling mistakes caused by general lack of knowledge about the disability, and the fact that no government has officially named the disability "dyscalculia", but instead goes by the WHO (specific disorder of arithmetical skills) and DSM (mathematics disorder) terms. Dyslexia is not officially named dyslexia either. In other words, dyslexia and dyscalculia are nicknames. It would be hard to say "specific disorder of arithmetical skills" every time you would mention this disability, wouldn't it?

"You Can Do It If You Want To!"
Probably followed by "and if you try hard enough". This is a typical remark from teachers and parents to motivate the student - and although it can be meant in the BEST way possible, it is not true when it comes to dyscalculic students. The thing a dyscalculic wants most in this world is to be able to understand those numbers. Dyscalculics need different learning methods, in every aspect of the assignment. Dyscalculics are able to learn how to calculate something one day, only to discover that the information has been forgotten the next day. In other words programs like Kumon, where repetition is a major part of the teaching methods seem to have no result for dyscalculic students - they forget. Through different learning methods aimed specifically at the student and his/her version of dyscalculia can have great results.

DISCLAIMER: Kumon helps a lot of non-dyscalculic children around the world, and it is possible that some dyscalculic students are learning by Kumon - we have just never heard of any dyscalculic who benifited from these learning methods. Please let us know if YOU did.

2009-02-06T17:37:00.001Z

Happy Belated New Year to my readers if any of you are left, my apologies for not updating recently. Things have been a little hectic with Uni work. I shall have some new content for you all soon.
Regards
Pyrobutterfly

Swamp Creature

2008-05-09T00:33:00.003Z

This grew out of late night doodles, this is the swamp elemental in its young form. At this age it is foolish, amicable and easily distracted. However if you hurt it, it will wail at such a terrible pitch that people have been known to pass out from the pain and if that doesn't get you then mummy who comes running when this little one cries will not wait to hear explanations before ripping you to pieces. You've been warned.
I may do a better version of this at a later stage with black ink and decent shading rather than rubbish fibretip colour.

RIP Mark Speight (1985 - 2008)

2008-04-15T00:32:00.003Z

I awoke to the dreadful news that Mark Speight had been found hanged at Paddington Railway Station in London. I am currently in a state of numb shock. Mark was a childhood hero to me. The charismatic face of SMart on CBBC, it was he who taught me a lot of the techniques I know today in regards to drawing. I draw because he inspired me. To lose him so horrifically...I honestly don't know how to react. His last few days following the end of the inquest into his fiancee's death appear to have just been too much for him to cope with. I hope that wherever he is now that he and his fiancee whom he described as his soulmate and best friend are in each others arms once more.

Below follows the obituary from the BBC website.

Mark Speight was one of the most recognisable faces on children's television for more than a decade.
His spiky blonde hair, rubbery features and enthusiastic grin was seen on programmes such as Scratchy and Co, See It Saw It and SMart.
But his world fell apart in January when he found fiancee Natasha Collins dead in the couple's north London flat.
"A part of me died with her," he later told reporters. "She was my soulmate and best friend rolled into one."
Mr Speight was born in 1965 - "when TV was black and white", according to his CBBC profile - and called Trowbridge, Wiltshire, his home.
He was educated at the private Tettenhall College before transferring to the comprehensive Regis School (now King's School) in Wolverhampton at the age of 12.
Turning up for his first day in a prefect's uniform and clutching a briefcase made him an attractive prospect for bullies, he said.
"I was an obvious target. I didn't know how to look after myself with all these big tough kids," he told the Birmingham Evening Mail in 2005.
Like many bullied children, he learned to use humour as a defence - "I became the class joker" - but decided to leave school at 16.
Art was his favourite subject, "because the art room was warm and the teacher was attractive", so he enrolled in college, gaining a degree in commercial and graphic art.
His subsequent career on television was, he claimed, nothing more than a happy accident.
SMart was his big break - a BBC children's programme that inherited Tony Hart's legacy of lessons in painting and handicraft.
The success of that show led Mr Speight to ITV, where he spent four years as host of the anarchic Saturday morning children's show Scratchy and Co.
Dressed in a sky-blue suit with a blonde rubber wig, Mr Speight became something of a cartoon himself, while introducing popular animated series such as Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain.
"I don't mind taking the mickey out of myself - the more stupid I look, the more I like it," he told the Daily Mirror in 1998.
His popularity led to many public appearances, notably with his Mr Speight of the Art children's workshops.
He also joined Rolf Harris in London's Trafalgar Square to help recreate Constable's painting The Haywain on a gigantic scale.
That led to other live shows where Mr Speight helped create new versions of Holbein's portrait of Henry VIII and Da Vinci's Mona Lisa.
Mr Speight also became a spokesperson for ChildLine and raised money for Muscular Dystrophy.
In 1999, he was cast as the bumbling king of Much Jollity-On-The-Mirth in CBBC game show See It, Saw It.
It was on this programme that he met Natasha Collins, who played a court jester.
After he found her body in their bathroom earlier this year, Mr Speight became troubled and vulnerable, according to his family.
He was initially arrested on suspicion of murder and supplying Class A drugs, but last month Scotland Yard said he would not face any charges over the death.
An inquest into Ms Collins' death heard she had taken cocaine and sleeping tablets before apparently collapsing in the bath.
Mr Speight was reported missing a week after the coroner recorded a verdict of death by misadventure.
Presenter Kirsten O'Brien, who worked alongside Mr Speight on SMart, said he was "without doubt the funniest man I've ever known".
She said: "Filming days were a joy as Mark would often have the crew and I doubled up with laughter and I think that showed on screen.
"I'm proud to have had Mark in my life and am devastated at losing him in such a terrible way. All of his friends will miss him deeply.
"Mark could find light in the darkest situations for others. I'm only sorry he couldn't find it for himself."

Heart Tales

2008-04-13T12:43:00.001Z

And still it plagues my mind
How did this happen?
It was supposed to be fate.
Coincidences like that just don't happen!

But once again I'm lying on the floor of my room
Surrounded by mementoes of love lost
Items forever imbued with memories
Wondering where it all went wrong.

Trying not to cry as I stare at the ceiling
Sad songs on the radio
Making me tearful
It’s not right to cry in public...I can't help it.

An age ago you told me not to cry
I tried my best, I didn't cry,
But now the floodgates open
And I'm drowning in my sorrow.

Your ghostly touch haunts me
The memory too painful to think on
Yet I cannot escape it
Everything reminds me of you.

Why do I love so readily?
I only ever get hurt.
I've lost count of the heart breaks.
Lost track of the times I've played this CD.

Barbara Streisand...always Barbara Streisand.
"Kiss me in the rain; make me feel like I'm a child again"
I feel the memory of your kiss on my lips
As the rain drenched us both.

I wanted to dance with you as it fell,
To dance and kiss you like the world didn't matter
To lay beneath the stars on a warm summers evening
Counting the ways we loved each other.

I can't help wonder...
Was I moving to slowly?
Would things be different if I wasn't so unsure of myself?
It felt so right being with you.

I'm naive, if it wasn't meant to be
It wasn't meant to be
I only wish it didn't hurt so much.
At least my honour is still mine.

How many more times must I go through this?
Until I find the one I'm looking for?
The one destiny has planned
My gift from the divine?

Still at least I'm my own woman once more
Time to celebrate my femininity
Single woman, I don't need a man to define me
I am me.

Celtic, confident, assured.
I am Keridwen.

(c) 2008 - Randomgoth.deviantart.com

A Northumbrian Prayer

2008-04-10T15:35:00.003Z

Wor Fither God, Ye encorcle us with your greet love,
through Jesus, wor mate and master.
Wu thank ye for aall your goodness to us -
this baarry coounty in which wu live,
the delights of pipin' an' patterin'
As membors of your family on orth.
keep us ivvor close by ee, we pray.
May wu thrive in the Holy Spirit
and bring your gud news to wor woorld
the day, the morn and aalways. Amen.
(c) Carol Dixon - March 2008

Standard English Version
Our Father God, you encircle us with your great love,
through Jesus our friend and master.
Thank you for all your goodness to us -
this beautiful county in which we live,
the delights of music making and talking with friends.
As members of your family on earth,
keep ys ever close to you, we pray.
May we grow in the Holy Spirit
and bring your good news to our world,
today, tomorrow and always. Amen.

Confused spirituality - seeking

2008-04-05T00:23:00.003Z

I'm searching for something more than what is offered by the current form Christianity, I have a longing to connect with the divine in whatever form that might be be it God or Goddess. I want to connect to the world more as well, to get better aquainted with the natural world around me.
This is why I am currently exploring druidry and the way it can fit with traditional celtic christianity.
This is definitly a transitional searching place im at right now.
Journey well and blessed Be.

New beginnings

2008-04-01T00:25:00.004Z

I'm setting out on a new journey, a new beginning with God. A spiritual walk, walking with the divine through the world around me. Seeking the inherent fingerprints of God in His creation.
I'm longing to expereince the power of nature and through that God's power.
I'm fed up with what I call 9-5 church. A church that squabbles and in fights, that gets hung up on a particular wording or verse for months on end.
I want a radical faith that seeks God not just by reading an old book but that lives the life, meets with God on a daily basis.
I want 500% faith, the kinda faith that moves mountains not the politics of modern christianity where a church meeting is needed to decide whether or not to move a pulpit 5 inches to the left!
I want a radical spirituality that speaks of God's love to others.
So it is with a nervous yet excited step I start out on this new journey.

Image credit

I hope you're happy

2008-03-25T22:30:00.000Z

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Snow Patrol - You could be happy

Sabbatical Elections 08 - Democratic Hypocrisy?

2008-03-13T11:57:00.005Z

Once more it's election time at the Student's Union, yet this year there is a distinct lack of candidates. Back in 2007 there were over 30 students running for the six available sabbatical positions, this year there is less then half that number. So what's going wrong?

Democracy, we all know the history, how it's meant to be one of the greatest conceptions of the modern world, and to a certain extent this is true. Why is it then that no-one seems too bothered that this year two of the SABBS positions are going uncontested. To be fair its no-ones faulty that only one person has put themselves forward for these positions, but it still makes me sad that I will have no choice (other than to vote for nominations to be re-opened).

Interest amongst students seems to waver between extremes, those who are passionate about a particular cause or those who care but don't think they'll make a difference. The challenge seems to be getting people engaged with politics, something that is a nationwide problem.
The picture nationally reflects this; in the last general election only 59% of those registered to vote turned out to vote compared to the 76% in 1979 according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).

For a country that has gone to war with others to overthrow dictators and introduce the institution of democracy, most recently in Iraq, we are a people who seem increasingly to ignore our own politics.
Certainly we hold the ideals that a democracy brings to heart and we would be outraged if they were to taken away from us. I know very few people who don't hold one opinion or another over the war in Iraq, yet one of the major justifications was to bring democracy to the Iraqi people, something that has had limited success so far.
For an institution that we all feel so strongly about you would think that we would all be more willing to go to the polling station.

One of the most noticeable falls in recent statistics comes from those aged 18-24 (my own age group?!), in 1998 the British Social Attitudes Survey found that only a third of people believed they had an obligation to vote, compared to four-fifths of over 65 year olds. This makes for grim reading, yet there is hope for us 'young adults'.
Statistically those young adults in education are more likely to be interested in politics and less likely to have formed an attachment to a particular political party, suggesting that they are far more likely to make informed decisions about political parties, instead of being influenced by older generations.

So how to go about exciting young people into voting and engaging with local and national politics; if you look at the current state of affairs in America, where there has been an incredible surge in the number of people voting, we can see that people are interested, they just need to be more inspired.
The current race to become leader of the Democratic Party between Barrack Obama and Hilary Clinton is at the centre of this change. Each of these candidates are unique, Obama as the first black man to run for presidency and Clinton as the first woman. It would seem that this shake up in candidates has made all the difference in America, as they edge away from traditional middle class white males.

Obviously American politics are completely different to the situation within the Student's Union but perhaps we can take some of their ideas and use them to really excite students into really getting involved with their Union. It is well known that elections are mainly a popularity contest only second to policies so why not hold mini rallies!

So how does this all relate to our own Union? Admittedly the comparison is fairly far fetched, but consider for one moment the reassuring fact that young people aren't indifferent to politics and why should we be?
Here at Swansea we have one of the highest turn outs of Union elections in the country, some feat when you consider we are only a relatively small institution. It is true that times have changed for the average student, the days of rallies and protests have all but disappered. Yet that doesn't make us any less politically aware, in a world where we are constantly bombarded by the media it's hard not to have a vague idea of politics. Let's face it though; with a guy like Gordon Brown in charge of the country, it's prehaps not surprising we're bored of politics.

I don't have to go into the well known history of the women suffragettes or mention the oppression that some people face in other countries to get across the importance of democracy.
Perhaps it is harsh to call us hypocrites of democracy, but for a country that believes in it so strongly, we don't really show it.
At the level of our Student Union, where we are (stereotypically) called 'the next generation', it is a sad fact that we don't seem to care who runs it. Does this mean we won't care about politics in general? I doubt it. But id we're making a stand about how we want things run, get our voices heard about issues that matter to us, like library opening times, then we really need to get more involved. I'm sure those who've entered themselves as candidates this year have done so because they love Swansea and want to make it the best place for us, all they need now is our support.

All of this doesn't answer the question here as to why people here at Swansea seen to be ignoring the importance of our Union. I'm sure there are many reasons that people could give. I'm certainly not going to preach the importance of voting, and I certainly don't have any answers to the indifference that is plaguing our society. But next time you're in JC's remember it's the Student Union that helped set the price of the beer you're drinking.
(Waterfront article - Issue 165)

The student union sabbatical positions are being voted on today at my uni. I voted on
principle, but I'm shocked at the number of people who plan not to vote?!
These are the same people who complain about how our SU is run but yet cannot be arsed to vote?
This apathy is poisonous! It goes against everything this country stands for. How can we call ourselves a democracy when half the population doesn't believe in voting any more? Do we even deserve to have a democracy if people are going to let their vote go to waste?

Our right to vote is precious! USE IT OR LOSE IT!

Average

2008-03-01T03:23:00.002Z

Ever had that niggling feeling you weren't really achieving your true potential?
I seem to be getting it more and more these days. Nothing I do is particularly outstanding...nor is it particularly rubbish...I'm just average.

Average, mediocre, dull.

I had dreams, dreams of being someone. Doing something important with my life.
Reality check...I'll probably end up just another stressed out secretary and mother. Trying to make ends meet, struggling to pay off mounting debts, having to re-morgage the house again and endlessly sniping at my equally stressed out husband.

What happened? At which point did I miss the boat to become something? Or have I not missed it, is it just that the world is so foggy a place at the moment that I can't see it?

St David's Day

2008-02-28T13:25:00.003Z

I can't wait for March 1st aka St David's Day! Its a really big day here in Wales with all sorts of activities organised by Swansea Council. I wish we did more for St George's day in England...not that I'm english anyway but it seems to me that the english don't have the same level of patriotism as the welsh/scots/irish. English people correct me if I'm wrong. It just seems like more of a big deal here.

Changing Identity

2008-02-17T01:35:00.005Z

RandomGoth has become Zenfrozt.
Don't panic folks! I'm currently rewriting my website and as such have changed my alias.
Zenfrozt fits me better than RandomGoth now. However my artwork on DeviantART shall remain under RandomGoth as I have seen what happens to people who try to re-invent themselves on DeviantART under a different name.

The blog has also had a makeover and become 'Coffee Cup musings from a modern Hippy'
These changes may or may not last, it depends on how I feel it goes.

Firestaff

2008-02-16T05:41:00.002Z

This post is to commemorate my first fire staff spinning. I have moved from poi to staff as I was getting increasingly frustrated with my apparent to grasp new tricks. Staff I am finding more enjoyable and more natural.
On wednesday 13th February 2008 I span with a lit fire staff for the first time, this was swiftly followed by more fire spinning on the 14th as well.
I could wax lyrical about the sensations for pages I suspect. However its late. I shall update this at a later point.

Love

2008-02-07T01:32:00.000Z

Does it ever get more understandable?
Why do we fall for the people we fall for?
Why do our hearts skip when we're near our loved one and ache with such previously unknown pain when we're apart?

Any ideas?
Just musing as its nearly valentines day.

Pay not attention to this entry

2008-02-02T18:58:00.000Z

This entry is just so I can access this info quickly at a future point.

http://www.seat61.com/Italy.htm#Rome
http://www.trenitalia.com/en/index.html

Why do you run?

2008-02-01T05:19:00.001Z

(If this is your image, please contact me and I will either add a citation or remove the image.)

People always ask
why do you run?
Like its a strange thing.
I want to ask them
why do you not?
Have you tried it?
Are you simply remembering the pain of school PE?
Have you felt the buzz?

Let me try to explain...

A hard day,
I've been stuck behind a desk
scribbling notes from a lecture
or typing my notes up
and learning them.

After awhile my mind clogs up
like gears that need oiling.
Dregs of the day jam the moving parts
till I can't think straight.
I need to get out,
to become one with this world again.

Each run has a ritual
my own pre-run ritual.
It calms my racing mind
eases the knots of tension.

I slip my sports kit on
feeling the flow of the material
against my skin
so free, not like my day wear
my tight jeans and top.

I tie my hair back
whilst doing breathing excercises
that further calm my mind.
The same ones I use pre-exam.
Never understood the science
that means it works.
I don't care if it works.

I start to feel the familiar twitch
of muscles priming themselves to move
to power my body over the earth
I'm longing to hit the trail.

Sitting down I pull my trainers on,
first the left and a double knot
then the right and a double knot.
I've never done it any other way.
Ritual. Don't deviate.

Strapping my music to my arm
I power it on and slip the ear phones onto my ears
feeling the beat,
urging my feet to move.

I stretch gently
then head out the door.
Starting off slowly,
half power-walk, half slow jog
until I reach the beach.

Once more I stretch,
my muscles warmed up and ready.
One command from my mind
and I'm off
running letting my brain
take control of the machine
that is my body.

Freedom.
I run like today didn't happen
and tomorrow doesn't matter.
I'm at one with nature
small compared to her might.

I run chasing the surf
feeling the wind rush past my face
the rain soaks me
but I'm free.

The music pounds in my ears
my feet hitting the sand
in rhythmic time to it.
Unity, power, dare I say it grace?

I marvel at the design of my body
the seeming ease at which it copes with the terrain
I dance with the elements
Charging over the dunes and down into the breaking surf.

I play at tag with the mini breakers
daring them to chase me up the beach
The evening glow starts to envelop the beach
as I run.

I'm the only one out there
my heart pounding in my chest
my lungs stung by the salt air
but moving powerfully
pushing my body to its limits.

My adrenaline levels soar
I feel I could do this forever
Just me and the elements
dancing some bizarre dance together.

All too soon its time to head back
to rejoin the rat race
until the next time
when I crave to be free.

I hit the showers
the warm water washing over my body
soothing tired limbs...

It feels good to be alive.

(c) 2008 RandomGoth

Mind Dump

2008-01-14T02:39:00.000Z

It’s late here
But sleep evades
Like it had for days
Change of surroundings
Coupled with stress
It always happens.

I’m missing you again
Heart yearning for what it doesn’t have
A dull constant ache of desire.
I’m sat watching the rain patter against the glass
As darkness falls, the cold welsh night.

I may go for a walk
Go watch the sea
As it laps at the bay
Again and again
The gentle rhythm soothing my tired mind
Like cool hands on fevered skin.

Skin…hands…once more my heart reminds me
Of this love I have for you.
I want to lay in your arms
Let this frenetic world pass me by
Two lovers entwined,
At one with each other.

I’m craving the sensuality
Your warm embrace provided.
I want to feel that femininity
I’d not felt till I felt your caress.
Craving the power that surged
Beneath my skin,
Carnal energy that made me shiver.

I’m rambling again,
My mind flowing faster than I can write
Wondering if I could even class this as poetry
It’s merely a mind dump of all the random stuff
That swamps my brain at the moment.
I find myself consoling my heart
That easter will arrive like a thief in the night,
Just like Christmas did,
And I can return to you again.

The rain has stopped
I think I’ll take that walk
I’ll let the cool sea air
Play across my face
And shout my love for you to the stars
There’s no one to hear me
But the wind and the waves and the Gods.
But with nature as my witness
I’ll declare my love, my lust
And dance across the sand
Laughing as the tempest roars
And I revel in my humanity.

I went to the beach
And the heavens opened
I didn’t care.
The stars and the peace I sought
Were awaiting me there.
Snippets of bad poetry
Echoed my footfalls
As I wandered the darkness.

I wonder if I’ll post this
Or keep it private…
Will I email it to you
Or keep it as a diary
Casting it into the depths of my drawers
To lay with other things I’ve deemed not good enough to share.

My words bounce round my mind
Thoughts of me, of you, of Genevieve, of exams
Of anything and everything and nothing.

I walk as if in a dream
My head in the clouds
My feet on the ground
It’s raining still
Running in rivulets down my face
Numbing and envigorating
Strange contrasts I barely notice
As I ruminate and reminisce and dream.

There is a freedom to be found here
In the stillness of the night
One cannot feel in the hours of light
Peaceful contentment, yet at times
So freeing of the mind
That one can at once feel regret.

I walk on in my never-ending dream
My waking dream.
The one I can only reach at night
When the bustle of the day has passed me by…
And still I wonder at the value of sharing this?
Is there some?
Or am I simply blogging in semi-poetic form.

Bad poetry, incorrect meter
Rubbish stanzas…
But a longing to release this torrent of words
A rhythm in my mind
Driving them onwards
Paying little heed to rhyme.

Is this the voice of my innermost being?
Freed at last to speak the thoughts I try to suppress?

I’m playing your own words in my head
Watching the images like a film across the theatre of my mind
I’m sounding like a cliché again.
Perhaps when sleep befalls me,
I can lose myself in your words, in an image you’ve crafted?

Perhaps, maybe, who knows…
I’m rambling again.
Good night, adieu.

(c)2008 RandomGoth.deviantart.com

I should be in bed....

2007-11-14T02:40:00.000Z

Gah its 2:40am and I can't sleep. Still not sure whats causing these random bouts of insomnia but they keep happening. It's starting to annoy me now as I'm struggling to concentrate on things.
I hope it sorts itself out soon as I'm not convinced I'm doing my best work when I can only concentrate for small periods.

Depression has reared its rather unwelcome head again as well. I should really have been expecting it though with the onset of darker nights. SAD isn't much fun dear readers. Don't see any point in going back to the doctors as last time all they did was say that the waiting was too long and there was no point joining it as I would probably just get better anyway. I don't want to take anti-depressants either as it may just lead to dependency. There must be a natural way of treating this that doesn't involve swallowing random chemicals...surely. I'm planning to go swimming tomorrow, exercise boosts endorphins which make you feel better apparently. Also I really NEED to do some exercise. I came to university with a nice toned stomach...a sprained knee, 4-5 weeks where it was too painful/inadvisable to exercise and 3kilograms approx of pasta later and I appear to have put on some weight and become slightly podgy. Wahhhhh! I worked hard on my once nice flat stomach! Ahh well, I'm starting to ease myself back into exercise so I'm hoping, fingers crossed, that I can regain it.

Other then that I can't think of much else to say in this post...my bonsai tree is thriving, my desk/room is untidy again and I have clean clothes to wear tomorrow after doing a big wash this evening.
I shall say good night now and hope that I can sleep.
God bless

Fire poi!

2007-11-12T00:43:00.000Z

Just a quick post to document the date I had my first go with fire poi. It was at the Christian Union bbq on Thursday 8th November 2007 on the beach @ Swansea Bay.

What a rush! I love the roar they make as they spin through the air! Wow! Fantastic fun! Can't wait to have another go :)

And yes I know thats one of the other guys playing with fire staff, i don't have any photos of me doing fire poi yet.

Lift up your eyes

2007-10-21T12:21:00.000Z

God is so amazing, I was reading this email from CrossRhythms Life files and it suddenly hit me...what am I doing? I've been in Swansea over a month and I still don't have a church!
Why not I asked myself? And I came to the conclusion that I'm not trusting enough in God, I've been relying on my own strength and being overwhelmed by my own anxieties. It's time I lifted my eyes to God and relied entirely on him.
Thanks be to God for his word.

Gen 13:14-15, Jeremiah 29, Philippians 3

"Lift your eyes now and look from the place where you are-northward, southward, eastward, and westward; for all the land which you see I give to you and your descendants forever." (Gen 13:14-15)

Abram could not have imagined how much God desired for him considering he had not long moved away from everything that was familiar to him. Change can be quite a frightening experience so often you want to hang on to something tangible from your past "just in case." It is only natural to resist the unknown especially when you're also responsible for others around you. Well, that's exactly the point...you were never meant to consider your changing circumstances through natural sight. As hard as it seems, spiritual dynamics can only be understood and appreciated not by natural intelligence but by supernatural discernment. Your natural safeguards will fail you whereas God's plans are everlasting and guaranteed to see you through any challenges you may be experiencing now. Unless you disengage from some of your comfort zones and safeguards the future may be compromised. Abram could not imagine the magnitude of the promise of God for him and his descendant's lives whilst he argued over earthly riches with his nephew Lot.

When Abram parted ways with his beloved nephew Lot he heard the voice of God speaking amazing words regarding his future. The instruction was "Lift your eyes now." The time has come for you to lift up your eyes to the future. Abram's past was family squabbles, and his future was really as much as his eyes could take in. Whilst he wasted time on family arguments his eyes were cast downward on earthly riches but when he looked up, he saw God's all encompassing blessings. God has a four dimensional blessing for you today. Would you lift your eyes off that problem and look upwards to see God's never ending riches laid up for you in heavenly places? You cannot conceive what you cannot perceive neither can you birth what you have not conceived. So then..."lift up your eyes now, and see all that God has laid up for you"!

Scripture Reading: Jeremiah 29, Philippians 3

Prayer: Lord, help me I pray, to keep my life simple before you and to disengage myself from time consuming squabbles. Help me Lord to believe in your everlasting plans for me today and forever.

Obii Pax-Harry
Founder
Women Arise
Birmingham
www.womenarisepray.org.uk

Get over it!

2007-10-21T00:27:00.000Z

Okay can we please all get over the fact that England lost quickly and quietly? Its just a game for goodness sake!
Bloody drunks!

Serious crime.....in Morpeth?

2007-10-20T12:31:00.001Z

The car park behind Marks and Spencers has been cordoned off as have all the ally ways leading to it. Massive rumours of a stabbing are going round the town like wildfire. I'll update this as soon as I know more from my mum.

Money, money, money

2007-10-13T03:08:00.000Z

As a poor, starving student, it is my need...nay...my duty rather to come up with mad moneymaking schemes. I could be boring and get a conventional Saturday job but that's so dull and traditional. No I've come up with more interesting ones.
I have a bread maker which my lovely, nice, kind uncle got me. I wondered about selling fresh bread to other flats but apparently in my contract for my accommodation i agreed not to use my accommodation for commercial usages. Bummer.

Okay so my next idea is a little more viable :D Teaching poi!
Basic premise, I muck around with my poi outside, thus drawing a curious crowd...a fact I prove tonight. Then charge a £1 - £2 for showing people the basics :D
Considering how popular it was to night I could get minted from it :D well at least have enough for a decent night out or a takeaway pizza! Plus it's outside, therefore getting me neatly around the issue of using my accomodation for commercial usages clause in my contract. I don't even have to do it on uni property.

Shopping and an awesome roast

2007-09-29T23:50:00.001Z

Okay, so I didn't do much today - had a bit of a lazy day. Woke up relatively early to discover that we had no water! Disaster, no shower but more importantly no coffeee! *twitches at memory* Luckily it came back on at about lunchtimeish.
I settled for a can of VK Energy drink that the Snowriders society had so thoughtfully provided at freshers fayre. Tasted like crap but hey tis caffiene lol.
After I'd had some breakfast and got dressed I wandered over to the modern language block to try and find the tutor for my italian modules as I have a clash in my timetable. He wasn't there so I'm going back first thing on monday.
On the way back I stopped in at the library which is flipping enormous! I got somewhat lost in its basement trying to find books on phonetics for my course. Didn't find any of the reccommended books but found a couple on similar things that looked intersting. Used the self-issuing machine to take them out. Sooo much fun to use ^_^ yes I know, small things lol.
Then after some lunch back at the flat I got the bus into town to go buy stationary and explore. Bought some folders from wilkinsons and a 2008 calender of Russel Brand in Blue Banana, I really couldn't resist lol.
Came back to the flat to find Bec, who doesn't actually live in our flat cooking roast dinner in our kitchen. She did a proper roast chicken which went down really well with the carniverous ones in our flat. It was apparently really moist etc. We also had mash and cabbage and buttered leeks. Pudding was provided courtesy of Sarah and tasted delicious! It was really nice to all sit down to a meal together, felt like a great bonding thingymajig. We had quite a deep discussion about faith as well which was interesting, turns out our norweigian is also a believer. YAY :P Then afterwards we went upstairs to the flat above and watched The simpsons movie, that film is funnier every time I watch it I swear!
Hopeing to go find a church tomorrow morning, not sure where I'm going but I'm gonna have a look and see what I can find. I shall post how the search goes tomorrow.

Post dated: 29th September 007

2007-09-29T23:49:00.000Z

I went out with the CU tonight, got to know them a bit more, also went to a talk at the chaplaincy entitled 'Surviving uni as a christian' which was so useful. Especially in view of the fact that I've really been struggling with how much drink and sex seems to be the accepted norm here. My mates seem to be out most nights getting pissed till the early hours, and its no fun if you aren't drinking. Also finding time for quiet time with God seems really hard. At the moment my living pattern is so outta sync that half the time I don't know what day it is. I'm sure it will all settle down once lectures start but I'm seriously bored of freshers week culture.

Post dated: September 24th

2007-09-29T23:46:00.001Z

Just a quick email to say I'm having an absolute ball here in Swansea. I'm a bit fed up of how many different bits of paper and forms that I have to fill in at the moment. However there are over 1200 students here so I guess thats understandable. I registered with my department today and signed up for my electives, i'm doing two 20 credit modules in...wait for it....ITALIAN :P Can't wait. I've always wanted to learn Italian. The modules aim to get you up to AS/A-level standard by the end of the year so it's going to be intensive but I'm excited. Plus one of the lads in my flat is Italian so I can always pracitce on him :P
Last night I went to 'Fresh and Free' which was amazing, despite having to wear a bright orange t-shirt that went down to my knees! Got asked to dance by a cute guy, although it would be said he looked really disapointed that I went home at midnight and not with him lol!
I've registered with the doctor and the dentist and picked up my ID card.
Heh, speaking of ID cards, I managed to get myself locked out this morning because of it. I had it in my pocket and when I left my room I felt for the key card in my jeans and obviously found a card and thought nothing of it...until I went to get back in and discovered my student ID. Had to go to Preseli building and ask to be let in, the porter just laughed. Our flat is now on first name terms with the porter because we complained about the fact that we only had 3 chairs in the kitchen (we're supposed to have 8), the fact that we had no kettle at all and the fact that our TV doesn't work. He's really nice though and we've had a steady trickle of chairs arriving in the kitchen from him.
My flat mates are totally mad! I love them lol. We've got 4 girls and 4 boys and its a really nice mix, we all get on really well. Sian and Sarah I already knew from facebook, but we've also got Faye who's really cool.
Then for the boys we've got Ylenio (Italian), Thore (Norwiegian), Sam (who's also a twin) and Rob (surfer)

Horizontal man in Newcastle

2007-09-15T14:04:00.001Z

Hahah! The mystery of the identity of the rather curious horizontal man statue in Newcastle has finally been solved!

He is infact one part of a three part bronze sculpture called 'Man with Potential Selves' by Sean Henry. It is situated opposite Central Station in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Henry is quoted as saying "They are three alter egos of the same man and that he is an Everyman character.
Information on sculpture sourced from: The statue pictured is part of a three part bronze sculpture called 'Man with Potential Selves' by Sean Henry. It is situated opposite Central Station in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Henry is quoted as saying "They are three alter egos of the same man and that he is an Everyman character.
Information on sculpture sourced from:

So many photos of the oft called 'horizontal man' (there is no information on the statue available at the site, I had to research it on the net) are taken effectively parallel to it, so that you get the mans face and the front of his body. I thought I'd be different and try and draw the viewer into the image. I'll let you be the judge of whether or not i've been succesful on that count.

Wansbeck Swans

2007-09-11T12:26:00.000Z

This is a photograph of one of the swans on the River Wansbeck. These swans had signets for the first time in 40 years in the Morpeth area.
The signets are now rather large and starting to show flecks of white in amongst the brown fluff. Its been really exciting to see swans breeding in Morpeth. There has got to be few things that rival signets in the cute stakes when they are newborn.

I'm really pleased with how this photograph turned out, I played with the contrast slightly in photoshop to achieve chiaroscuro which is a term I didn't know until a couple of days ago when someone commented on the pic on DevART. n.

Chiaroscuro: [It., lit., clear, dark < L. clarus, clear + obscurus, dark] 1. the treatment of light and dark in a painting, drawing, etc., to produce the illusion of depth, a dramatic effect, etc. 2. a style of painting, drawing, etc., emphasizing such treatment. 3. a painting, drawing, etc. in which chiroscuro is used.

Attack of the muse

2007-09-11T12:21:00.000Z

So my muse appears to have gone into hyperdrive in regards to being artistic. I have an excess of need to draw or take photographs. If you wanna stay on top of my latest stuff check out RandomGoth on DeviantART for my latest stuff.
You will find a mixture of photography, traditional art and poetry. Also the occasional piece of digital or mixed digi-trad work.

Alan Rickman films

2007-07-29T20:10:00.000Z

Films I've seen starring Alan Rickman
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
Snow Cake (2006)
Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire (2005)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Voice) (2005)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Love Actually (2003)
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets (2002)
Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone (2001)
Galaxy Quest (1999)
Sense And Sensibility (1995)
Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves (1991)
Truly, Madly, Deeply (1991)

Films I own starring Alan Rickman
Snow Cake (2006)(DVD)
Sense And Sensibility (1995) (VHS)
Truly, Madly, Deeply (1991) (DVD)

Films starring Alan Rickman
Sweeney Todd (2007)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
Nobel Son (2007)
Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer (2006)
Snow Cake (2006)
Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire (2005)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Voice) (2005)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Love Actually (2003)
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets (2002)
The Search For John Gissing (2001)
Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone (2001)
Blow Dry (2001)
Help, I'm A Fish! (voice) (2000)
Play (2000)
Dark Harbour (1999)
Galaxy Quest (1999)
Dogma (1999)
Judas Kiss (1998)
The Winter Guest (1997)
Michael Collins (1996)
Lumiere And Company (1995)
Sense And Sensibility (1995)
An Awfully Big Adventure (1995)
Mesmer (1994)
Bob Roberts (1992)
Closet Land (1991)
Close My Eyes (1991)
Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves (1991)
Truly, Madly, Deeply (1991)
Quigley Down Under (1990)
The January Man (1989)
Die Hard (1988)

I stand by the hlalf-blood prince regardless

2007-07-14T13:28:00.000Z

codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"
width="500" height="193"
id="Countdown Snape">

Poi

2007-05-24T12:32:00.000Z

I have joined the growing ranks of 'poisters' in the United Kingdom. Bought myself a set in Sonic Stars clearence sale.
I love the sensation of getting a trick to work properly, poi are just soo much fun. Maybe one day I will be able to spin like this guy.

I should probably point out at this point that I'm not attempting to spin fire just yet lol.

93 days and counting

2007-04-15T23:43:00.001Z

http://www.timeanddate.com/counters/customcounter.html?day=18&month=07&year=2007&hour=&min=&sec=&p0=0

We came 2nd!

2007-04-09T22:44:00.000Z

Wahey! We came 2nd in the Black bull's pub quiz! The Roaming Minstrels strike again!

Heavy Metal reaches Baghdad

2007-04-03T15:02:00.000Z

Shameless self-promotion

2007-03-21T09:36:00.000Z

:p I'm famous-ish lol

Check it out :P

Found this on Christiangoth.com

2007-02-10T13:15:00.000Z

Found this on Christiangoth.com and wanted to share it, I feel it sums up exactly how I feel about my christianity.

I am a Christian
By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I 'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

H P Sauce - recipe variation no 7

2007-02-05T17:12:00.000Z

Heheeheh I can't wait for the last installment! Finally a date has been named for Book 7 to come out. *does a little jig*
Woooo!
I believe Snape is innocent!
Long live the half blood prince!

Fed up of Church Politics

2007-02-01T13:32:00.000Z

I am so fed up of Church politics! We seem to be so wrapped up in internal battles that I feel sometimes we forget our mission, our reason for being! I can't really express what I'm getting at properly but the lyrics of the Casting Crowns song "If we are the body" kinda sums up my attitude.

CASTING CROWNS LYRICS

"If We Are The Body"

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girl's teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgemental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

Jesus payed much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

Jesus is the way

I pray that we can learn to get along in a unified way sometime soon!
Blessed Be.
RandomGoth
xxx

Prints Available

2007-01-30T11:23:00.000Z

Prints!

I have taken the plunge and you can now buy my artwork on DeviantART...well at present there is only one available but I hope to offer more in the future.
Blessed Be.
RandomGoth

Nocturnal Musings

2007-01-29T13:51:00.000Z

Late time
Midnight late.

Cold Smell
clinging air.

Frosty moonlight
bathing crystal.

Sparkling world
sound asleep.

Lonely soul
Only spectator.

Watching quietly
Star shower.

Peaceful wishes
heavenwards sent.

Meanwhile
somwhere else...

Late time,
Midnight Late.

Snow...supposedly

2007-01-29T13:29:00.000Z

They forcast six inches for kent...we got icing sugar style snow...pathetic! But pretty to watch fall.
It has now all melted.

Mind I can atleast get back out running again with the snow gone, which should stabalise my irractic black moods.
Bring on the seretonin!

In the meantime here is a picture of St Michaels church which I walk past on the way to the office all covered in snow.

St Michaels in the snow by ~RandomGoth on deviant ART

Toxic Waste

2007-01-20T14:24:00.000Z

Damaged goods,
toxic waste.

Fly away from here
run while you still can.

Don't play,
don't get hurt.

Trust is turning to ash
whilst you play.

Fear consuming
dread compounding.

Danger!
Don't touch.

Flee from here
run while you can.

Self-loathing
replacing pride.

Nowt but a fool,
a scarred and broken fool.

Shame and pain
needy and alone.

Don't touch,
don't get burnt.

Leave the toxic waste
of broken dreams.

You deserve better.

Fly away peter,
fly away paul.
Use your wings whilst you still can.

Corrosive tears,
burning the skin.

Fear toying within
afraid for you.

Leave the monster within.

Don't get scratched
infected with hurt.

You deserve better.

I'm sorry.
Sorry for the pain I cause.
Toxic pain, infecting all I touch.
I'm so sorry.

©2007 ~RandomGoth

Toxic as always

2007-01-20T14:21:00.000Z

Why when everything is going so well and feels so on track does my life always crumble?

I'm toxic to the touch it would appear...everything is breaking, infected by my own confusion and twisted mind.

I'm causing pain where I desperatly don't want to...struggling with who I am before friends, family and God.

What's the point?

That stupid voice at the back of my head taunts me, flashing metal tempting me...but no I WILL NOT GO BACK DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN. I AM IN CONTROL! I DON'T NEED IT'S CARESS.

Why am I so toxic? Why does everything I touch fall to bits? I call out to God but he appears so silent these days...is he even there?

No of course he's there...He's faithful to the end...but then why do I feel so abandoned?

MY GOD, MY GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?
Why, O LORD, do you reject me and hide your face from me?

O LORD, the God who saves me,
day and night I cry out before you.
May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.
For my soul is full of trouble
and my life draws near the grave
I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like a man without strength.
I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care
You have put me in the lowest pit,
in the darkest depths.
Your wrath lies heavily upon me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape
My eyes are dim with grief.
I call to you, O LORD, every day;
I spread out my hands to you
Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do those who are dead rise up and praise you?
Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction
Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?
But I cry to you for help, O LORD;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
Why, O LORD, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?
From my youth I have been afflicted and close to death;
I have suffered your terrors and am in despair
Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me
All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
You have taken my companions and loved ones from me;
the darkness is my closest friend
(Psalm 88)

WHY GOD! WHY DO YOU STAY SILENT? Or am I just not listening hard enough?
Come to me in my darkest hours, comfort me if you are there.
I lie awake weeping my pain in the small hours, unsure of my identity, unsure if I'm doing the right thing...love flaming in my heart, desire so strong it hurts.
A vow is a vow....I promised you my chastity. I knelt before your cross and spoke the words out loud. Why is it so hard then?
Where is your guiding hand? Are you deaf to my crys Lord God?
I love him God, do you understand?
God of grace...God of Peace...I submit to your authority but give me the strength to keep going. I need you.

He is all to me, his name is daily on my lips. My heart sings with joy for him, he completes my heart. How to tell him? I do not know. I'm so toxic in my confusion I feel like I hurt him with every syllable from my curs'ed lips. Pain I detest myself for causing. God I need your guidance! Yet you mock me with silence.

*sigh* I kneel once more before your throne, messing everything up with a toxic touch.

I LOVE HIM BEYOND WORDS, I LOVE YOU MY DEAR ONE.
How can I show you the depth of feeling behind those three simple words? I love you, j'adore....I could say it in other languages but would it make a difference?
I LOVE YOU DEAR HEART.
I'm sorry I'm so messed up. I'm trying to be strong, trying to be me...but it's so hard when I don't know who I am. I want so bad to be in your arms, to hear it's all alright...I'm so far away. This distance is maming my heart...but it will always love you. Tell me how to show you this love...show me how to be less toxic. Be frank...I'm hurting but i'm strong. I need your honesty. Please.
And if you want to leave....I will understand...I hate the thought that I'm hurting you. You deserve so much better then me, and yet you say you love me....how can this be? I'm just messed up little old me...broken, scarred and scared. Unsure of everything but willing to learn.
I LOVE YOU SORROWBURN, BEN YOU ARE ALL TO ME.

A homesick twin's prayer

2007-01-17T11:09:00.000Z

Genevieve,
Beautiful daughter of God
Bless'ed before the Father.

How radient is your smile,
How bright your eyes shine.
I see your face when I close my eyes to sleep.

I look at your photograph
and see Jesus Christ at work in your heart.

Your laughter echoes in my mind,
pulling homesick tears from the corners of my eyes.

I approach the throne of God
with your name upon my lips...

May He bless you richly in the coming months and years.
May He never leave your side, dearest sister.

Beautiful daughter of God,
How my heart dances with joy
to call you my twin.
Sister in blood and sister in Christ.

If home is where the heart is then I'm out of place.
I've never been more homesick then now,
but as I kneel before the King
I ask for His blessing and strength
and know it won't be long
until I see you again.

In the mean time,
May He bless you and keep you safe from harm.
May He gather you to him when you weep for me.
For in Christ there are no goodbyes.
Be brave sister of mine...

Till I return to you once more.

(c)RandomGoth 2007

Dancing Feet

2007-01-15T11:05:00.000Z

Dancing feet
moving to the rhythm.
Spiritual hunger
flaming in my heart.

Pulsing beat
makes me want to move.
Passion for your name
dancing in my soul.

Father God
Dance with me
See your daughter move,
delight in me, my Lord.

Pour out your mercy
Send your spirit like the rain
Break my heart for the lost
Wash my dancing feet.

(c)RandomGoth 2007

This was written just after The Covenant service at Staff Conference after the DJ led worship.
BLessed Be,
RandomGoth
xxx

CALL TO ACTION

2007-01-06T00:39:00.000Z

BISHOP REID preaches that Christians must act as well as pray.

Every Christian who supports this call to action will be standing up for the traditional Christian values which shaped our nation.

Our visible presence will affect the government - if we turn out in large numbers.
So everyone matters. If you say you are a Christian we need you to support a rally outside the Houses of Parliament on Tuesday, 9th January.

The rally is a protest against the Sexual Orientation Regulations which the Government has imposed in Northern Ireland and plans to impose across the UK. The SOR’s threaten Christians who uphold God’s law that homosexuality is not acceptable. Our protest is that we are being denied freedom of conscience to believe as Christians and to act on these beliefs.
The rally will be held between - 17.30 and 20.00.

Each person must be in place at - 17.00 and must bring a torch.
Why are we staging this protest?
Because…

1. There will be an hour long debate in the House of Lords on Tuesday 9th January 2007 to consider a motion by Lord Morrow to annul the Northern Ireland Sexual Orientation Regulations. These are similar to the regulations proposed for England. They expose Christians to legal threat for refusing to support homosexuality as a legitimate lifestyle when it is against their solemn belief.
2. This debate is the first (and possibly only) opportunity for Peers to have an open debate about the SORs. It is also the first and best opportunity for Christians to demonstrate their strength of opposition to laws which would make criminals out of devout believers.
3. To coincide with the debate in the Lords (which is due to begin at around 7:30pm) a PETITION will be presented to the Queen during the afternoon on the 9th January. PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION AND ENCOURAGE ALL THOSE YOU KNOW TO SIGN IT. The petition is available at http://www.christianconcernforournation.co.uk/sorpetition.php
4. Also set to coincide with the debate in the Lords will be a RALLY held outside the Westminster Parliament from 5:30-8pm. We will meet in Old Palace Yard, opposite the St Stephen’s entrance. Please bring a torch.
THIS IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO STAND UP FOR OUR FREEDOM TO LIVE ACCORDING TO GOD'S STANDARDS.

NOTE

* A High Court judge in Northern Ireland gave permission to the Christian Institute to bring judicial review proceedings challenging the legitimacy of the Northern Ireland SORs. On Thursday 21ST December the judge decided not to suspend the Northern Ireland SORs whilst the legal challenge is being heard. The full case will take place in the new yea

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

a) Register NOW with the CCTV that you will support the 9th January rally at Westminster.
Contact me on 01277 372606/372996 to say who you are, where you are from, how many friends and Christians you will bring to the rally and how you will get to the rally.

Alternatively, email info@theCCTV.org
Visit http://www.TheCCTV.org for regular updates.

b) Sign the petition to the Queen by visiting this web site: http://www.christianconcernforournation.co.uk/sorpetition.php

c) Sign the petition to Tony Blair at: http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/NISexOrient/

d) Pass this information to every relative, Christian, neighbour, friend, work colleague or acquaintance you can think of.

e) Email / Telephone / Write to / Speak to:
everyone you know and urge them to make the effort to join the rally. As parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers, neighbours and friends, it is our opportunity to demand the right to live by our faith, our conscience and our beliefs and to protect our children from the corruption of beliefs we believe to be sinful.
We need numbers at the Westminster rally. If only a few hundred Christians turn up it will confirm to the government that we are a minority it can push around. We know we represent the majority so show that you are one of the VOCAL majority.
I look forward to seeing you on next Tuesday
Anne Brown
The Christian Congress for Traditional Values

Please do whatever you can friends.
BLessed Be.
RandomGoth

sigh

2007-01-02T17:06:00.000Z

From the word for you today

Wise up!

"I FEAR THAT...I MYSELF MIGHT BE DISQUALIFIED." 1 CORINTHIANS 9:27 (NLT)

Do you remember the story of Samson? He wasn't a big muscly guy but he had a habit of not thinking things through, and he also got himself into dodgy relationships that eventually destroyed him. The Bible warns: 'Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness?...' (2 Corinthians 6:14 NLT). When God says 'no' to certain things He's not being difficult, He's being protective. Listen to Him, He knows what He's on about. Samson lived by his impulses! He thought he was in love but he was actually just letting his hormones do most of the thinking! When his folks disapproved Samson said, '...She is the one I want' (Judges 14:3 NLT). Before it was over he became a laughing stock.

Peter writes: '...keep away from evil desires because they fight against your very souls' (1 Peter 2:11 NLT). In a battle the strongest side wins, so keep your impulses in check. Don't be like Samson who misused his gift! You see Samson exploited his God-given strength for his own ambition and gain. He even used his gifts to make bets with his mates - see Judges 14:13. God gives us gifts to use for him, not for us. When we misuse them we end up in trouble. Samson was also clueless about weaknesses. Knowing your weaknesses and guarding against them is hugely important. Work out what they are, admit them, talk to people about them and stay accountable! Get people you trust to see how you're doing. It may just be what saves you.

Poetry from a confused heart

2006-12-27T10:09:00.000Z

LUST

Rabbai! Teacher!
Please lend me your ear.
Let me tell you of my sin;
My carnal desire.

Breaking commandment after commandment
As lust blinds my eyes.
I’m hungry for flesh,
Warm-skinned with desire.

Not before marriage
Oh Daughter of God.
Not before Marriage
Thou shalt not.

Rabbai! Teacher!
Please lend me your ear.
Teach me about sin;
This carnal desire.

My body beats to a delicious pulse
As my heart drowns in lust.
I long for another…
To see our flesh become one.

Not before marriage
Oh Daughter of God.
See it is written
Thou shalt not!

But oh how I long…
Naked flesh on naked flesh
How can this be wrong?
What is sin anyway?

I’m burning with need
Fiery carnality.
Human desire.
Driven mad by flaming passion.

I crave release
One way or another.
My lascivious nature
Craving another.

Rabbai! Teacher!
Please lend me your ear
I need some advice
On this lustful need.

Not before marriage
Blessed Child of God
See it is written
Thou shalt not!

My dear Lord give me strength
I fear I cannot stand it;
My lust-stained innocence
So clearly on show.

Father forgive me
Your child has sinned.
I feel so lost!
Why do you mock me by holding your silence?

Rabbai! Teacher!
Please lend me your ear,
Whilst me cheeks blush with shame
For my lascivious nature.

Always the same answer
Not before marriage
For my child it says in this book
Thou shalt not!

I’m sick of these rules.
Why! God. Why!
Father in Heaven
You created me!

Surely you know the answer.
Please Lord, Don’t echo the rabbai.
I’ve heard it before.
Child of God, not before marriage.

I’m sick of religion
With its stuffy old rules.
With its ‘bless you dear child’s
And ‘Thou shalt not’s.

Call me a heretic
I’m beyond caring.
But Jesus wasn't one
To play by the rules.

Don’t get me wrong!
I love you dear Lord.
I gave you my life
At the start of 04.

I meant every word.
I’m washed by the blood.
A child of God.
My name is written in the lambs book of life.

I’ve gone too far.
Heretic, Heathen, Unbeliever.
I’ve heard it all before.
I’m sick of religion,
But I still love God.

Father forgive me for I have sinned.

(c)RandomGoth 2006

UP THE IRONS!

2006-12-24T21:46:00.000Z

I saw Iron Maiden perform live at Newcastle's Metro radio arena on the 17th December 2006.

I can say safely that their set made up for having to sit thru nearly an hour of Trivium before hand. I have little respect for someone who feels it necessary to say fuck after every second word.

Lauren Harris's short support set was really good in terms of sound quality but I do suspect this may have something down to being on tour with daddy (Maiden's bassist). Her set wasn't anything spectacular but it was tolerable more so then Trivium.

Anyhoo back to Maiden, when you see these guys perform live you realise precisely why it is that they have lasted as long as they have. The show was incredible and despite having seated tickets rather then being in the thick of it all I had an awesome time.
Highlights included Eddie rising up in a massive tank turret from the back of the stage and Fear of the Dark! There is something incredible in expereinceing a sold out gig singing their hearts out in reply to Bruce's encouragement. Not to mention the whole arena chanting Maiden at the top of their collective lungs.
Fantastic!
I love the community atmosphere at a Maiden gig with atleast three generations if not four making eye contact and bursting into chants of Maiden, Maiden, Maiden as the house lights went down!

UP THE IRONS!

New Toy

2006-12-22T19:28:00.001Z

http://www.radioblogclub.com

Exam Results - Belated post

2006-12-19T13:36:00.000Z

I got my exam results back in the summer but forgot to post on here what they were.

English Language - B
Geography - D
Philosophy of Religion - E

Swansea University accepted me onto the English Language and Linguistics course for 2007.
Blessed Be.
RandomGoth
<'}}}<

Overwhelmed by the generosity of friends

2006-07-21T19:41:00.000Z

It never ceases to amaze me how generous people can be. In the space of a couple of weeks I have clocked up £1,205.50 mostly though individual donations. I owe a huge debt of thanks to those who have donated money to me. God bless.

HTML - Level 1

2006-06-21T13:53:00.000Z

Wooooooh!
I just scripted my first HTML page! It isn't live yet or anything fancy but I opened it in Firefox and Internet Explorer and it worked!
Oh and I'm finished my Philosophy exams! I never ever have to do philosophy again! *dances* Only two exams left now
Blessed Be,
RandomGoth

Deny Thine coward God...

2006-06-19T09:57:00.000Z

I serve the God who has held Victory from the very beginning of time.

Enough apologizing and trembing in fear "christians." I deny your Coward God and embrace the God our Sacred Scriptures proclaim. Stop wasting my time with your political holier-than-thou pious hypocrisy. Stand up and be counted in His name. Move foward unafraid of the Darkness. I can take your cowardly weakness no more!

Oh but I'm afraid of the television, of the radio, of school, of homosexuals. It is all so scary. What am I to do? Can't I just sit here and wait for something to be placed in my lap in the safety of my little corner where I can ignore the evil?

NO! Face the Darkness. The world is filled with wolves but Man can only rend Flesh, your Soul is forever. We are the Light of the world. Stop hiding under the wicker basket.

Hail to the Inner Light.

I deny the lie of your Coward God and embrace the I AM of scripture.

We are called to be lights in the darkness, called to spread the good news, isn't it about time we stood up and were counted amongst the true believers? Unafraid of being judged by the world, living to hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant"

The Great Canadian Goth Hunt!

2006-05-03T17:13:00.000Z

I am so completly and utterly sick of the sheer volume of finger pointing that is going on right now!
Yes the girl involved in the triple murder in Alberta was a member of vampirefreaks.com as was her boyfriend and partner in crime but this does not mean that the goth subculture is evil in anyway.
We are sick of being used as a scapegoat culture for every ill that happens in this world. You fear us because we are different, you fear the aesthetic, yet look a little closer and you will find a culture of empathic animal lovers who campaign for causes like 'Make Poverty History' and 'PETA'. A subculture of vegetarians/vegans who have alot to thank the Hippies for. A generation of people who will grow up in general to be outstanding pillars of this world as lawyers, doctors and accountants.
Yes the subculture has a prehaps unhealthy interest in fantasy creatures of the night but it does not make us murders!
We are a subculture that accepts those people who you 'normal' people reject, freaks, geeks and loners, those who seek someone to love them and accept who they are as an individual.
Please people think before you point the finger, look a little closer and see what you will find below the aesthetic looks.
Yours in irate randomness!
RG

And so it continues with articles like this from the edmunton sun determined to use Goth as a scapegoat for society's ills
http://www.edmontonsun.com/News/Alberta/2006/05/06/1567234-sun.html

So much to say, so little time!

2006-04-02T21:09:00.000Z

Whew! Where to start? It's been sooo long since I last posted on here that I fear I have alot to say. I shall try and summarise as much as possible.

Its been a hectic past few months with notable events such as handing in my last piece of school coursework and police interviews.
It was with immense pleasure and relief that I handed my last ever school level coursework in - an investigation into the effect of gender upon the language used in health articles. Boy was I glad to see the back of that one!
It is also with some sadness that I look upon this milestone in my education, everything is starting to feel final. Posters for the leaver's dinner have gone up round school and huddles of year 13 girls can be found discussing dresses and swapping makeup tips. The boys? Too busy playing football to care much, I fear. However I suppose we can forgive them they do after all only have to hire a tuxedo - no fear of turning up wearing the same thing lol.
At present I am considering this dress from moon maiden, the nice friendly, vegetarian goth company in cornwall.
http://www.moonmaiden-gothic-clothing.co.uk/moonmaiden-index/gowns/mmg55/mmg55.htm
(If you click on the image you can see other views of it)
Hope to get it in the colours shown.
The new senior students have been elected and exam timetables have been issued. Why is it that having spent the last couple of terms explaining to all who would listen that I can't wait to get out of the school, that I suddenly find I am absolutly terrified of leaving it. I feel so confused lol! With only a term left to go, I have developed cold feet and would do almost anything to stay with the nice security blanket that is the high school.
I guess I just need to take a deep breath and trust in the Lord and His plan for me. I am beginning to flap my wings ready to take to the sky not unlike the words of the song my mom used to sing to me.

Summertime,

And the livin' is easy

Fish are jumpin'

And the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich

And your mamma's good lookin'

So hush little baby

Don't you cry

One of these mornings

You're going to rise up singing

Then you'll spread your wings

And you'll take to the sky

But till that morning

There's a'nothing can harm you

With daddy and mamma standing by

Summertime,

And the livin' is easy

Fish are jumpin'

And the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich

And your mamma's good lookin'

So hush little baby

Don't you cry

A poigniant song that currently brings tears to my eyes.

Anyhooo enough of the sentimental mush stuff!

I mentioned earlier that the police had interviewed me. I was really nervous about this but it turned out to be fine, a nice lady police officer in plain clothes and an unmarked car came to the house and my mom was allowed to sit in on the interview with me.

In other news:

I am currently investigating bass teachers in the local area as my one moved to London...grrrr! I shall take comfort in the fact that God provides to those he calls so yeah I'm not too worried and I wish my last bass teacher the best of luck in London. Lucky devil!

Yours in randomness!

<'}}}<

God: I've lost faith in Blair

2006-03-09T18:31:00.000Z

All the signs are that the Almighty is unhappy about efforts to implicate Him in the attack on Iraq
Terry Jones
Wednesday March 8, 2006
The Guardian
A high-level leak has revealed that God is "furious" at Tony Blair's attempts to implicate him in the bombing of Iraq. Sources close to the archangel Gabriel report him as describing the Almighty as "hopping mad ... with sanctimonious yet unscrupulous politicians claiming He would condone their bestial activities when He has no way of going public Himself, owing to the MMW agreement" (a reference to the long-established Moving in Mysterious Ways concordat).

Mr Blair went public about God on Michael Parkinson's TV show. "If you have faith about these things," he said, "then you realise that judgment is made by other people. If you believe in God, it's made by God as well." As is customary with Mr Blair's statements, it's rather hard to tease out what he is actually saying; but the gist is clearly that if God didn't actually tell him to bomb Iraq, then the Almighty would certainly agree it was the right thing to do.
"If Tony Blair thinks his friendship with George W Bush is worth rubbing out a couple of hundred thousand Iraqi men, women and children, then that's something he can talk over with me later," said God. "But when he starts publicly claiming that's the way I do the arithmetic too, it's time I put my foot down!" It is well known that God has a very big foot.
A source says Gabriel has spent days trying to dissuade the Almighty from loosing a plague of toads upon the Blair family. Gabriel reminded God that Cherie and the children had nothing to do with Tony's decisions. God's response, it is reliably reported, was: "Blair says the Iraqis are lucky to have got bombed, so how can he complain if his family gets a few toads in the bath?"
The archangel is said to be ticked off with God's ability to provide glib answers without even thinking.
What has particularly incensed the Almighty is that Mr Blair made the claim on the Parkinson show. "If he'd done it on Richard and Judy I could have forgiven a lot," He is reported to have said.
The archangel reported that the Almighty has become increasingly irritated with the vogue for politicians to claim that He is behind their policies - especially if these involve killing large numbers of humans. According to Gabriel, God spake these words: "That George W Bush once had the nerve to say: 'God told me to go end the tyranny in Iraq, and I did.' Well, let me tell you I did no such thing! If I'd wanted to get rid of Saddam Hussein, I could have given him pneumonia. I didn't need the president of the United States to send in hundreds of heavy bombers and thousands of missiles to destroy Iraq - even though I appreciate that Halliburton needed to fill its order books."
"How do Bush and Blair think it makes me look to all those parents who have lost sons and daughters in this grubby business? Don't they know that the Muslims they're taking out worship the same Me that they do? It's a public relations disaster that ought to set Christianity back hundreds of years. Though knowing the fundamentalists, it'll probably have the reverse effect."
The archangel further revealed that he had been advised by no less a person than Alastair Campbell to warn God to keep out of politics. "But it's hard to get God to do anything He doesn't want to," sighed the archangel. "It's all to do with what He calls 'free will', though a lot of us have a problem working that one out, since He's omnipotent and omniscient."
God, the archangel says, is also disturbed by Mr Blair's remark that while religious beliefs might colour his politics, "it's best not to take it too far".
"How would he like it if I went round claiming that he gave me his full backing when I sent the tsunami last year?"
· Terry Jones is a film director, actor and Python
www.terry-jones.net

Ahhhh dear, this just cracked me up completly.
Sorry for the lack of updates but the school filters have banned this site again.

Well I'm feeling pretty stoked today, having got my results from the January Modules back today :D
I got 100% in one of my English Language resits! I have never ever got 100% in anything! Its soooo cool! I got a B in the other resit and an E in this years module. I also got a high B in Geography.
Rock On!
Oh and last thing Iron Maiden are on tour again and are coming to Newcastle in December! Wooooh! so excited, tickets go on sale on the 19th at 9pm.
Yours in randomness!
RG
<'}}}<

Dragonforce Gig Pictures

2006-02-05T22:05:00.000Z

Last wednesday I saw the mighty DRAGONFORCE in concert which was an absolutely amazing! I shall type more about it tomorrow but at the moment I shall leave you with some pics. Apologies for quality they were taken from the very sweaty front row of the pit with my mobile phone.

A break from revision...

2006-01-25T11:49:00.000Z

I decided to take a break from revision having completed several case studies. Plus the r-guide says to take regular breaks :D
Anyway! I was browsing a site called http://www.hedonistica.com which has a collection of absolutly hilarious videos!
Some of them I will admit are a little rude or a little bit sick, but the ones I'm gonna provide you with links to are either really cool or hilarious and most of them are clean-ish humour.

Okay the first one I'm gonna show you is called VampZ and is basically I think a brother and sister fighting style mini movie. Its well worth the loading time to watch this baby.
The small one loads fastest so here's the link to the small one.
http://vampz.free.fr/video/VampZ_small.mov

Or maybe F1 racing taken to the extreme is more your style? This next clip shows a rather brave or maybe just foolish F1 Racing Car Driver taking his car full speed down a winding mountain road. Not for the faint hearted. P.S He doesn't die lol
http://videos.streetfire.net/Player.aspx?fileid=FF0C3901-0B0D-4912-9BC3-761051EFD4B3&p=0

Or if your more prone to crazy dancing in Supermarkets then this clip is for you. The Moral of the story? Remember that Supermarkets and other stores usually have security cameras, so if you dont fancy ending up on the net, dont take lessons from this guy.
http://www.hedonistica.com/media.php?path=/videos/best_buy_caught_dancing.wmv

Japan, a very foreign place - they even park their cars differently and in a very ingenious way! This is in no way offensive to the Japanese, it actually shows their engineering at its finest! We should so get more carparks like this in Morpeth, it would solve the council's parking problems
http://www.hedonistica.com/media.php?path=/videos/japanese_parking_lot.wmv

I do not condone what is going on in this next clip, but maybe this guy needs to head back to robber school.
http://www.hedonistica.com/media.php?path=/videos/armed_robbery.wmv

This next clip is an incredible eyeopener, it just goes to show you what dedication and persistance can do.
Luca "Lazylegz" Patuelli was born with arthrogryposis, a disorder that affects his bone structure and muscular growth from the waist down. He has been break dancing since the age of 15.
http://www.devilducky.com/media/40715/

Hehehehehhe what happens when you take a snowman, a high tech alien space craft and some heat?
http://www.kozothehippo.com/snowman.htm

LMAO Yes of course I'm going to rush out and buy this game straight away after that commercial!
http://www.gaming-age.com/specials/adspecial2/Commercials/Nes/tetris.mpg

This next one is gonna be my last one for now folks and I think I've saved the best till lastt, yes its a motorola advert, but its wonderful! It takes a canny wee time to load but its worth it.
http://ventilate.ca/news_updates/smith_01.html

Okay okay, I know I said the last one was the last one, but I saw this one afterwards and I had to share! I didn't even know Extreme Unicycling existed!
http://www.sykoproductions.com/U2trailer.mov

Hope this has brought a smile to your face, it certainly brought a smile to mine!
May God bless you and inspire you always!
Yours in randomness!
RG
<'}}}<

GoogleBombing

2006-01-24T18:05:00.001Z

This should brighten up your day!

Please follow these instructions...

Go to http://www.google.com
Type in the word 'Failure'
Check out the top result!!

Okay if you aren't rolling around the floor in hysterics check out this link http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2005/09/googlebombing-failure.html

It provides an explanation for this result!

Its soooo funny!

Yours in randomness!

RandomGoth

<'}}}<

EXAM TEDIUM

2006-01-19T10:57:00.000Z

Why can't exam board produce interesting pre-release material?
I thought the Mars stuff might acuatlly be interesting, but no its as dull as a grey rat in a grey room under a grey sky!
The Bessie Smith stuff isn't any better! She was a black, bisexual blues singer in the 1920's and her songs are down right depressing!
Ahhh well I suppose thats just life lol, I'm on my second coffee of the day already and its only 11 O'clock. My exam starts in two hours time...joy! ahh well I can only go in there and do my best.

My peace will be found in God above, his love surrounds me and comforts me. I do not fear this exam like I thought I would.
For He is a wonderful consellor and mighty saviour, with Him by my side I can look the world right in the eye.
May God bless you and inspire you always!
Yours in randomness!
RG

Me? Obsessed? No.....course not!

2006-01-14T20:54:00.000Z

http://blades-uk.com/view_items.php?cat_id=90

Heheheh I didn't realise you could get replica wands of those used in Harry Potter!
*ponders getting one* That would just be obsessive wouldn't it lol.
Yours in randomness!
RG

Diagnosis: Se-ver-itis

2006-01-03T15:31:00.001Z

It would appear that I am suffering from a terrible affliction, called 'Se-ver-itis'.
Se-ver-itis:- an acute obsessive state of mind in which hughly unusual, discriminating females are inexplicably enchanted, seduced and irresistibly drawn like a moth to the flame by The Potion Master of severity Severus Snape. The sight of "black eyes like tunnels", raven lank hair and obsidian robes ensares the senses, inducing symptoms of euphoria, heart palpitations and in some severe cases fainting. One auditory sense in particular known as the 'silky voice' tends to mesmerize females, bewitching their minds and turning them into putty - with a tingling effect that spreads throughout various body parts. Like the source itself, the condition is severe, passionate and all consming, rendering the willing victim with an intense desire for late night detentions wth "The Master's" prescence combined with an eager hope for his correction. While the condition itself is not contagious, his legions of devotees afflicted with the condition are spreading like wildfire accompanied by a characteristic of fierce, intense loyalty. The only known cure is to admit the obsession, embrace it readily and excercise it with abandon...and frequently!

Website Update

2005-12-31T16:49:00.000Z

Okay, my site is now online again but it is having teething problems so please bear with me on this.
It can be found at http://www.bronsema.plus.com/RandomGoth/randgoth.html
I would ask that you bear with me while it grows and I overcome the teething problems.
Yours in randomness!
RG
<'}}}<

The Seasonal Post of Merry Thankfulness!

2005-12-30T19:00:00.000Z

WARNING - THIS IS A VERY LONG POST!

*whew* What a busy last month or so it has been with people in and outta hospital and up and down to Dundee, its been fairly exhausting and hectic.
The start of December saw Genevieve and my mom head up to Dundee so that Genevieve could take part in Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy to aid the healing of her spine. This at some rate seems to have been a useful excercise. The wound on her back is apparently experienceing 'over-granualisation' meaning its healing at a faster rate then expected! Which is awesome!

BIRTHDAYS
This month also saw Genevieve and myself turn 18 - how the years have passed! Geeves was at school for most of the day so a group of friends and myself went to the cinema to watch the new HP Sauce film, not one of the best of the series I must say...it was awfully fast paced and soo much had been missed out to squeeze it into the hour an a half, I'm hoping and praying that when it comes out on DVD there might be a 'full' version or directors cut version so that we can watch the whole thing rather then what they can squeeze into the time slot. *shakes fist at director* I think they would have been better making it into two films or something, or maybe having the lead up to the 4 tasks as a short before the film, then having an interval and then having the 4 tasks. Bah Humbug! It coulda been an awesome film but instead it was a mediocre although the bit where the two boys are hit by a cross "chemistry" teacher is hilarious, not that I'm condoning violence, but that "Chemistry" teacher is my favourite character and there wasn't nearly enough of him in this film.
Anyhooo....I'm rambling, after the film we all came back to my house where there was munchies such as pizza and dips and shall we just say 'beverages to embibe' :P it is after all all legal and above board in this country now - w00t!
Then we had chocolate cake in the shape of a hedgehog! And the best bit? was that it had white chocolate buttons for its spines, funky or what!
Once we had digested cake and food etc, we opened presents and I think I can safely say I had one of the best birthdays ever! I received from my parents a DAB digital radio as well as new snowboard bindings! I can't wait to test them out in February when we go skiing/snowboarding at half term.
Once that was cleared up we played Twister under the mistletoe including extra rule that a kiss was to be exchanged should you end up face to face underneath the mistletoe...lets just say that twister can lead to some very interesting photographs. (apologies for quality of pics, they were taken on my mobile phone)

Hehheeheh don't shoot me guys, I just think they are hysterically funny pictures.

What a day that was! I wanna thank my mom and dad for putting up with a bunch of hyperactive 17-18 year olds.

CHRISTMAS

Christmas was a fairly relaxed afair as I was ill so couldn't go to church with the rest of the family. I spent the rest of the day drugged up to the eyeballs and shivering profusily so yeah, Christmas wasn't a big affair just a small family gathering, my uncle and my grandma were down.

I must say though I think that one of my fave presents by far this year has got to be the cable that enables me to transfer photos from my phone to the PC. Its an amazing peice of kit! No more worrying that there isn't enough space on my phone to store pics :) just take the photo and transfer it to the PC. Sorted!

SO to celebrate I thought I'd share a couple of pics from my phone, warning they are fairly random photos.

MY PUSSYCAT - THOR

SNOW!

It snowed here the other day! Okay so its only about two cm worth and its all melting now but still we atleast had some snow! Some places in the UK had up to 8 inches of the stuff, shame we didn't get that much but I suppose I can't really grumble, after all we did get some in the end. Its raining now as the temperatures rise making the whole place look really rather depressing but hey ho, chin up. Check out the Christmas tree in Morpeth all covered in Snow and looking very festive.

Anyway I think that about rounds this post up, If you made it this far congratulations are in order, that was a bit of a long post to put it mildly lol. Heres to hopeing you had a good Christmas and we shall speak again in the new year! Look out 2006 here we come!

May God bless you and inspire you always!

Yours in randomness!

<'}}}<

Operation Christmas Child

2005-12-08T22:47:00.000Z

OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD
Well today saw the end of an era for me, it was sad to see the boxes packed into the van to be taken to the depot knowing that after 5 years thats the last time I'll be doing that with the school. I must admit there was a tear in my eye as the 755 boxes were packed into the van and the check was handed over...its scary to think that this time next year I don't actually know what I'll be doing...I'm wanting to take a gap year but I don't know what to do yet. hmmm anyhoo so yeah, the herald came and did a photo shoot with us :D we built a wall of shoe boxes across the hallway and stood behind it :D holding a box each. The photographer then took loadsa pics! It was amazing, can't wait for the next issue of the herald.
So yeah I wish King Edwards the best of luck for next year in doing Christmas child, and I hope they continue to break records with the appeal.

IN OTHER NEWS...
Only 15 days till my 18th birthday - yayness!
Only 17 days till Christmas - double yayness!
Only 9 days till a beautiful candlelit dinner avec my boyfriend - triple yayness!
Only 9 days until Genevieve comes home too - quadruple yayness!

God bless and inspire you always!
Yours in His hands
RandomGoth
<'}}}<

Stupid Filters!

2005-12-07T19:08:00.000Z

SCHOOL FILTERS SUCK!
I'm really not impressed with the school filters, for some reason they have taken a dislike to blogspot and banned it meaning I can't view peoples blogs at lunchtimes! It also means I have difficulty updating mine as bits of the site are banned and other bits aren't.
SO what does this mean?
Basically until I work out how to publish from my email using the thing I set up, my updates of this here blogspot will be very infrequent. *sigh*

IN OTHER NEWS...
Only 16 days till my 18th birthday - yayness!
Only 18 days till Christmas - double yayness!
Only 10 days till a beautiful candlelit dinner avec my boyfriend - triple yayness!
Only 10 days until Genevieve comes home too - quadruple yayness!

OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD
Total boxes as I left today: 734 packed plus about 20 empty (there is tonnes of stuff to go in them) We should just about beat last years total!
The van arrives tomorrow morning and I'm going to help load the van :D
Oh and I discovered today that the picture I didnt think they had used in the Herald last year when they ran an article on the schools involvement with OCC, is on the website!
http://www.morpethtoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=1119&ArticleID=910155
I'm the second person from the front with the gold coloured box :D

Yours in His hands!
RandomGoth
<'}}}<

The Post of many names...

2005-12-05T21:01:00.000Z

Well now, where to begin...

Only 18 days till my 18th birthday - yayness!
Only 20 days till Christmas - double yayness!
Only 12 days till a beautiful candlelit dinner avec my boyfriend - triple yayness!
Only 12 days until Genevieve comes home too - quadruple yayness!

Heheh hyperness - too much Cherry Coke lol

Ahem...on with the rest of the post...
I had a sleeppver at the weekend with Ruth and Sophie, two of my best mates from school, and we watched a couple of movies and chatted untill the wee hours. What a night!
We watched Tim Burton's 'Edward Scissorhands' which is an absolutly amazing film! I definitly recommend it...Edward is a wonderful character who's outcast, misunderstood by suburbia because of how he looks and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Loved it! I'm turning into a regular Tim Burton Anorak! He is an amazing director! Plus five of his films have Johnny Depp in the castlist.
We also watched 'Bridget Jone's Diary: The edge of reason' and we couldn't have picked a better film for a girly sleep over I don't think...its a beautiful film filled with romantic comedy hysterically funny but so sweet at the same time. Loved it.

BOX TOTAL FOR OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD: 659 at last count that are filled, we might just beat last years count of 750.

God bless you and inspire you always!
Yours in randomness!
RG
<'}}}-<

Moon

2005-11-25T19:26:00.000Z

That piccy was taken at the Rugby Club firework display :D Ent he handsome :P

Yours in randomness!

<'}}}<

God is indeed good.

2005-11-24T22:31:00.000Z

Those of you who follow my blog will know that I've been stuggling with my faith and its felt like I've been banging my head off a wall...well after watching a tv programme on the link of heavy metal to satanic death cults and satanic rituals...part of me...somewhere inside me I had a desire to listen to some Christian rock resulting in my tuning into http://www.christianrock.net whereupon I found Hawk Nelson playing with the song 'Things we go through' and the lyrics really struck me hard and made me realise that regardless of what I go thru I have a great redeemer who is looking out for me and that He won't throw anything my way that I can't cope with.

Hawk Nelson - Things we got through
Billy made a promise but didn't end though
Carrie had a dream but she threw it out the window
Kevin met a nice girl who broke his heart and
his friends never told him but they knew it from the start and.
These are the things we go through/ Let's take control and be ourselves Let's not waste time wondering about
How were gonna make it out
Wake up everyone around you
Lets rock until the clock strikes two
Stand up for what you believe and shout to
Heres another song from the youth that surround you
Kyles parents split up, he thinks its his fault
Little does he know that the time they're in was difficult
Andrea she left home, said she had enough
All she really wanted was somebody else there to love
She's all alone again, its the same old argument
And she needs a helping hand to help her find the truth
These are the things we go through
Let's take control and be ourselves
Let's not waste time wondering about
How were gonna make it out
Wake up everyone around you
Lets rock until the clock strikes two
Stand up for what you believe and shout to
Heres another song from the youth that surround you
Save me I’m all alone as I'm coming to the surface
Tell me I've got to know whats my meaning and my purpose
Show me I'm far from home lost with no sense of direction
Take me to Your throne
Billy made a promise but didn't end though
Carrie had a dream but she threw it out the window
Kevin met a nice girl who broke his heart and
his friends never told him but they knew it from the start and
These are the things we go through
Let's take control and be ourselves
Let's not waste time wondering about
How were gonna make it out
Wake up everyone around you
Lets rock until the clock strikes two
Stand up for what you believe and shout to
Heres another song from the youth that surround you
These are the things we go through
Let's take control and be ourselves
Let's not waste time wondering about
How were gonna make it out
Wake up everyone around you
Lets rock until the clock strikes two
Stand up for what you believe and shout to
Heres another song from the youth that surround you.

The lyrics of this song resonated inside me and I realised how lucky I am that Jesus died on the cross to save me, I thought about the pain he went thru on my behalf and the amount of love that must have taken...and realise that I am looking at this from the wrong direction. God love s me more then anything, he sent his only son to die for me. He isn't out to harm me, He loves me too much and it hurts him to see me suffer he hasn't left me alone to cope with this. He is there every weary step of the way.
Glory be unto him, saviour, redeemer, abba, father.
God bless you and inspire you always!
Yours in randomness!
RandomGoth
<'}}}-<

Severe Weather Warnings issued for the UK

2005-11-22T15:01:00.000Z

w00t! Finally winter has arrived! The met office are forcasting some spectacular weather over the next few days *does the snow dance*
This is from the Met office website.

Current warnings:
EARLY WARNING OF SEVERE WEATHER
EARLY WARNING of Heavy Snow and Blizzards Issued by the Met Office at 10:15 on Tuesday, 22 November OVERALL RISK ASSESSMENT: The probability of disruption due to severe weather conditions in part of the United Kingdom within the next 102 hours is 80 percent. This warning is an update to that issued at 10:45 on Monday 21 November 2005.

The Met Office is forecasting a period of cold and very strong northerly winds to extend across the UK from Thursday to Saturday, with all areas at risk of seeing some snow. Current timings suggests the onset of the very cold weather will be around 0600 Thursday in Shetland, 1800 Thursday for Northern Ireland across to northern England, and 2359 Thursday for southern parts.
Areas at highest risk for snow are northern and eastern Scotland, Northern Ireland and northeast England. In these areas winds will also reach severe gale force. Showers will fall as snow widely over high ground where local blizzard conditions are expected giving significant accumulations of snow with drifting. Snow will also occur at low levels including more populated areas at times, especially over the northern half of the UK, where localised accumulations of a few cm of snow are likely. Later on Friday and into Saturday, there is a risk of snow affecting southern and central areas of England. Confidence for this particular aspect is low to moderate at present and further updates will be provided.
This warning will be updated by 1030 on Wednesday 23 November 2005.

*Does the yay snow dance*
I'm def keeping my fingers crossed here - I'm soooo excited - it better snow now lol.
Yours in randomness!
RG
<'}}}-<

It never rains but it pours...

2005-11-20T18:41:00.000Z

*sigh* It never rains but it pours in my life, things were starting to look up aswell!
Genevieve had her fusion end of August time and the operation was a success...she looks so straight now its incredible! However the road to recovery is ever a rocky one and Geeves is currently back in hospital with something called a caphotic junction(sp?) which bascially means the top of her spine which isn't fused (this is very little of it lol) is bending away from the rods and recently this became infected and eventually broke the skin. They are operating tomorrow to clean the wound and trim the rods abit to try and prevent this happening again. Mr Gibson the consultant reckons though that the bacteria infecting the wound are actually in the rods themselves meaning that this infection is likely to flare up on a regular basis! This apparently could mean regular hospital stays over the next two years.
I'm struggling with my faith over this, clinging to the knowledge in Jeremiah 29:11
" For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

But God if your so great why does this happen! It feels like your ignoring me, Lord in my darkest hour I pray be with me. May you draw near to me in my pain as I struggle to comprehend what is happening.

Yours in randomness!

RG
<'}}}<

Mocha alla RandomGoth

2005-11-16T04:57:00.000Z

Mocha alla RandomGoth

Need that mocha but aren't anywhere near a Starbucks, Tim Hortons or Costa Coffee? Well this entry should aid you in your quest for that perfect cup of home brewed coffee.

Okay to make Mocha alla RandomGoth you will need:

Instant coffee granules - too taste (this depends on how strong you like your coffee, I reccommend 1 tablespoon of coffee. What type of coffee? Dosen't matter - this was made orginally with Nescafe Gold Blend as it was all my rents had in the house - please if you can use FAIR TRADE)
One table spoon of unsweetend cocoa powder - (again doesn't matter what variety - I used Rowntrees as thats what was in the cupboard)
One tablespoon plus two teaspoons of white sugar
Two teaspoons of Nesquick instant chocolate or a varient thereof - (Should you have no instant chocolate then substitute for half an additional tablespoon of cocoa and one and a half teaspoons of additional white sugar)
Two tablespoons of milk -( doesn't matter what type - I prefer semi-skimmed)

To enjoy simply mix the above ingriedents together with hot boiling water in a mug and enjoy.

Some tips:

Don't leave this to get cold, its foul when cold!
Don't eat/drink the gunk that you get at the very bottom, it will make you shudder all over and go ewwww. Don't say you were not warned!

(C) RandomGoth Inc. 2005. Please don't steal my recipe without crediting me in some way!

I hope you get much bliss from drinking this coffee. As a favour for imparting this please abide by my copyright rule, I've been working on this for months! Grrr If you break it I will set my fierce cat Thor on you...don't invoke the wrath of Thor, you will regret it!

God bless you and inspire you always.

Yours in randomness!

RandomGoth

<'}}}<

The Reluctant Sudokuist

2005-11-14T08:19:00.000Z

The Reluctant Sudokuist

Yep okay, I guess I'm a little hypocritical - I said a couple of weeks back to some of my friends that I couldn't stand sodokus...however I feel I must eat my hat here.

I have discoverd the joy of the sudoku puzzle having been shown how to do them by my mom. She sat down and went how to do them with me and now I am officialy addicted!

Sites reccommended by various people...

http://www.websodoku.com

http://dkmsoftware.com/sudoku

I prefer the first site personally.

My record currently stands at 12 minutes 44 seconds on Easy.

Thats all for the moment folks

God bless you and inspire you always!

Yours in randomness!

<'}}}-<

Grounded!

2005-11-11T08:23:00.000Z

Grounded!

I thought I was too old for the rents to ground me, but seemingly I'm not. I'm currently grounded for the foresseable future or as they put it 'until I pull my finger out and start doing some work'. This means that I am banned from the computer unless working - although the school PC's allow this thru the filters so I shall keep people up to date with my life and stuff.

CHRISTIAN UNION LEADERSHIP THINGY

I'm heading out to Jesmond tonight for a Christian Union leadership evening thing. It's being run by Geoff Brown of the Scripture Union so it should be good. I'm quite excited about it. I'll report back about it probably on Monday.

TATTOO

I've been considering getting a tattoo for a long time now, I plan to get a styelised cross coming out of bleeding flesh over the scars I have on my ankle from self-harm. This is to symbolise the way in which my faith in Jesus Christ has put me on the road to recovery and that with His help I can beat it completly.

I am however aware that my parents are against the idea, so as the bible says to honour your mother and father, I shall be waiting untill I have left home. While I am under their roof I shall abide by their rules even if this means I have to wait to get this tattoo.

One of the arguments I've been given against getting a tattoo is that my body is a temple and as such I should not graffiti the walls...I shall respond to this by saying, yes my body is a temple and as such I wish to hang beautiful art dedicated to my Lord Jesus on its walls in hounour of what He has done for me.

ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Alright it's official, language aquisition is one of the dullest things on the entire syllabus as far as I'm concerned! It makes little sense and I suspect that if I am forced to watch any more videos of cute, adorable little children making cute, adorable mistakes I shall puke! I have three lessons a week on Lang Aquisition and its becoming over kill! They may well have been cute and adorable to begin with but now they are just annoying! They are a pain to transcribe and mostly just babble innanely! Grrrrrrrrr!

REMEBERANCE DAY

Wow! Our school actually remembered to observe it today! *applauds* Actually interestingly us sixth formers in the Library were already observing it when the tannoy asked us to, the clock in the library is fast apparently, but the fact is that we observed it unprompted. Everyone stood up and stayed scilent, the only noise was the storm raging outside. Typical Stormy Autumn day, gusts of up to 70mph! and lashing rain is forcast for later.

LAUNCHCAST RADIO

If you haven't discovered LaunchCAST radio yet, where have you been! If you have a yahoo Username then you can get started straight away! If not just register for a username! Just head over to uk.launch.yahoo.com if your in the UK or to launch.yahoo.com for everyone else! You can personalise your own station by rating music around Launch, as well as being able to listen to preprogrammed stations and being able to watch a personalised video station! It's awesome, and there is practically every style of music available! And no I am not being paid to advertise them :P I just wanna share the joys of Launch. So yeah! Go check, Go check!

THE DARKNESS!

The Darkness are coming to Newcastle again! This time with new bassist, The Spider, orginally Dan's Guitar tech! Tickets went on sale today for ... alot of money which I dont have :( Typical! I bet they are sold out by the time I get the money lol. Ah well, I have seen them once before when Frankie was the bassist! So I can't really complain but still! It's The Darkness!

MY WEBSITE
My website is currently undergoing a major rehaul and revamp, which I hope to have finished by the end of this year. I am streamlining it and creating a more mature design to it as well as removing those awful frames and clashing colours! I've learnt alot about site desgin over the last year or two and I'm trying to apply them to my site.
Current status: 4 and a half sections to finish - they are 'About me', 'photos', 'Young Carer', 'Links' and 'Enjoy Meat?'

Need to get my guest book up an running again
Young Carers section may take awhile and consequently might launch the rest of the site while I work on this section.
Considering a section on 'Self-harm' but this is very much on the drawing board.
A news section is a possibility although I may just link to this blog spot as I can edit it anywhere.
When I turn 18 at Christmas, I'm going to sign up for Googles 'Adsense' in the hope that my site might actually generate enough to buy a proper domain name. *fingers crossed*
Need to re-do Pete's memorial page

MY LYRICS OF THE DAY - Disciple - Rise Up

I will not stand silently by as you mock and curse my GodStand against Him; you will be brought down Here I come; I’m bout to rise up All of my people, we’re ‘bout to rise up Here we come now, we’re ‘bout to rise up. All of my people, we’re bout rise up. You bark accusations that paralyze my brothers in fear.Only a small spark starts an unquenchable fire.

http://www.disciplerocks.com - Christian, Heavy Metal! Rooawwrrr!

OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD

Running Box total = 323

Okay thats all for now folks!

In His hands.

God bless you and inspire you always!

Yours in randomness!

RandomGoth

Yep I've joined the bandwagon...

2005-11-09T11:51:00.000Z

Yep I've joined the bandwagon...

Okay, okay! I've finally decided that this is the best way to keep people up to date with what is going on in the life and trials of RandomGoth. I've had a number of blog spots before but never really used them properly, tended to post quizilla results etc etc or just ignored them. However I've matured slightly and feel that I should fingers crossed be able to keep this one lol.

MY WEBSITE

My website is currently undergoing a major rehaul and revamp, which I hope to have finished by the end of this year. I am streamlining it and creating a more mature design to it as well as removing those awful frames and clashing colours! I've learnt alot about site desgin over the last year or two and I'm trying to apply them to my site.

Current status: 4 and a half sections to finish - they are 'About me', 'photos', 'Young Carer', 'Links' and 'Enjoy Meat?'
Need to get my guest book up an running again
Young Carers section may take awhile and consequently might launch the rest of the site while I work on this section.
Considering a section on 'Self-harm' but this is very much on the drawing board.
A news section is a possibility although I may just link to this blog spot as I can edit it anywhere.
When I turn 18 at Christmas, I'm going to sign up for Googles 'Adsense' in the hope that my site might actually generate enough to buy a proper domain name. *fingers crossed*
Need to re-do Pete's memorial page

SCHOOL

I am so heartly sick of school, I can't wait to get out and start making a name for myself. I'm currently working thru my UCAS application with the aim of doing 'English Language and Linguistics'. I've been visiting University open days around the country, top of my list is currently Swansea Uni as I was not overly enamoured with Portsomouth Uni.

School is cracking the whip again, coursework deadlines and exams loom hard on the horizon and this world weary traveller is dragging her feet. As a result work on my website is expected to slow for a while as I desperatly try to meet these inhuman deadlines!

LIFE

So what else is happening in the life of RandomGoth? Well plenty, probably too much! I recently got into a relationship with the very lovely Thomas Moon after nearly two years of flirting with each other and I couldn't be happier with him. If I get his permisson I might post a piccy of the two of us together, I might even just post it *evil grin*

Bass guitar is going slowly, school work and website have been getting in the way, hopefully with a couple of deadlines coming up I'll have a little bit more time to practice. I shall keep you guys updated on this.

Baptism is also on the books, I'm hoping its gonna happen soon, provisional date I think of 23rd November...but its very provisional. I'm excited about taking this step in my faith, I feel I have come to the point where I want to make that public display of my faith to show others what Jesus means to me. Prayers for this would be most welcomed.

Gap Year planning is going very slowly, I'm currently looking at two organisations doing christian gap years. They are http://www.thefoundry.org.uk/xl/home.htm and http://www.xlp.org.uk/index.htm . I did apply to Project Trust but sadly was not selected by them, however a number of the friends I made on selection have been and I wish them the very best of luck and pray that God will bless them on their amazing journeys. I pray that they might be safe and sound in the knowledge that God is watching over them as they fundraise and as they prepare to leave next September. I had great fun on selection with you guys so God bless and may you come back enriched by the experience.

I'm gonna leave you with some lyrics that I feel depict what I feel at the moment. (The silly thing messed the formatting up!)

SUM 41 - In Too Deep

The faster we're falling, We're stopping and stalling. We're running in circles again, Just as things we're looking up, You said it wasn't good enough. But still we're trying one more time.

Maybe we're just trying to hard. When really it's closer than it is too far

Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep, All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under. Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep, All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under. Instead of going under.

Seems like each time I'm with you I loose my mind,Because I'm bending over backwards to relate. It's one thing to complain, But when you're driving me insane, Well then I think it's time that we took a break.

Maybe we're just trying to hard. When really it's closer than it is too far.

Instead of going under.

I can't sit back and wonder why.It took so long for this to die.And I hate it when you fake it.You can't hide it you might as well embrace it. So believe me it's not easy. It seems that something's telling me,

I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep, All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under. Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep, All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.

Instead of going under. instead of going under. instead of going under again. instead of going under. instead of going under again. instead of going under again.

------------------------------------

Why does everything always happen at the same time? Then Snowball and create monster problems for me, usually ending up in a mammoth argument between me and my mom!

If there was ever a time I felt like running, it would be now but I'm gonna stay and face the music I guess. My life is so messed up! Gah I'm whining again! Anyhoo.

Okay, thats all for now folks, check back soon for more updates.

May God bless you and inspire you always!

Yours in randomness!

RandomGoth

xxx <'}}}-<>